Beating a Dead Shark With a Stick... "Jaws 5"

"Jurassic Park" sequels I'm ok with because Spielberg is behind them and they'll be brought to theaters without being made a mockery of. But it is apparent that Spielberg has no control over the Jaws franchise...

I couldn't give the people worse news than this. And I'm late with it too... The moviehole has announced that Universal and their infinite number of dumbasses have decided to try and make a fifth Jaws movie. To make it worse...they want it to be direct-to-DVD. (That's why I was emphasising on Jurassic Park sequels being in theaters.)

Apparently an "unnamed" screenwriter was approached to do this film. The screenwriter pitches the idea of ignoring "Jaws 3" and "Jaws The Revenge" and making a direct sequel to the first two movies. His idea was to introduce Brody as an old man with his family moved away and wife dead. Another Shark returns to terrorize the beaches of Amity and his life gets pulled together to take on the shark. Not a terrible idea if there were to be a sequel. Universal's response? Right here:
"It sounds dark!" "It sounds unmarketable in the avenue we're considering!"

So Universal's blockheads begin describing the audience intended for direct-to-video marketing:
"...the straight-to-DVD market being for the teens and primarily young males/females and that they were wanting to focus more on that. One guy says 'You know? Teens in peril? That sort of thing?'"

Uh...does anyone remember "JAWS F@%#ing 2"? Apparently Warner is trying to make direct-to-DVD sequels to "The Deep Blue Sea" and this is why Universal wants to compete here. I think this is ridiculous. The first film is probably the greatest horror film of all time. A masterpiece that has yet to be duplicated. It has three bad sequels and the last one finished it off. Why do we need a sequel worse than the fourth movie? Wait. Money! That's right! Forgot. This is absurd. The dumbest news I've read yet. Lets all get on our knees and pray to Jesus Christ (or whoever you pray too) to make sure this doesn't happen. We don't need another Jaws. Direct-to-DVD or otherwise! Let it go Warner.