This Blog Has Been Glanced at This Many Times:

Saturday, April 7, 2007

Beating a Dead Shark With a Stick... "Jaws 5"

"Jurassic Park" sequels I'm ok with because Spielberg is behind them and they'll be brought to theaters without being made a mockery of. But it is apparent that Spielberg has no control over the Jaws franchise...

I couldn't give the people worse news than this. And I'm late with it too... The moviehole has announced that Universal and their infinite number of dumbasses have decided to try and make a fifth Jaws movie. To make it worse...they want it to be direct-to-DVD. (That's why I was emphasising on Jurassic Park sequels being in theaters.)

Apparently an "unnamed" screenwriter was approached to do this film. The screenwriter pitches the idea of ignoring "Jaws 3" and "Jaws The Revenge" and making a direct sequel to the first two movies. His idea was to introduce Brody as an old man with his family moved away and wife dead. Another Shark returns to terrorize the beaches of Amity and his life gets pulled together to take on the shark. Not a terrible idea if there were to be a sequel. Universal's response? Right here:
"It sounds dark!" "It sounds unmarketable in the avenue we're considering!"

So Universal's blockheads begin describing the audience intended for direct-to-video marketing:
"...the straight-to-DVD market being for the teens and primarily young males/females and that they were wanting to focus more on that. One guy says 'You know? Teens in peril? That sort of thing?'"

Uh...does anyone remember "JAWS F@%#ing 2"? Apparently Warner is trying to make direct-to-DVD sequels to "The Deep Blue Sea" and this is why Universal wants to compete here. I think this is ridiculous. The first film is probably the greatest horror film of all time. A masterpiece that has yet to be duplicated. It has three bad sequels and the last one finished it off. Why do we need a sequel worse than the fourth movie? Wait. Money! That's right! Forgot. This is absurd. The dumbest news I've read yet. Lets all get on our knees and pray to Jesus Christ (or whoever you pray too) to make sure this doesn't happen. We don't need another Jaws. Direct-to-DVD or otherwise! Let it go Warner.

Friday, April 6, 2007

"Jurassic Park IV" is Defying Extinction

Laura Dern, who played Ellie Sattler in "Jurassic Park" and "Jurassic Park III", reported that the fourth film in the Jurassic Park series may finally be rolling.

Laura Dern recently got information from Steven Spielberg, "I'm told it's happening and I'm told they're calling me. I'm told that Ellie Sattler is involved in it."

When asked if she was interesting in returning to the series she responded, "it's hard to say no to [Spielberg] cause he's always got something totally genius up his sleeve so we'll see what they have in mind. But I don't know anything about it at this point."

Furthermore she stated they might start getting things rolling with this film for a 2008 release. I think that's a really, really big "might". I'd be surprised if we saw this movie in 2009. Oddly enough I'm not opposed to this. Spielberg said he wanted it to become a long running franchise. I think it'd be cool to have a fun, long running series like James Bond and Godzilla out of Jurassic Park. "Fun" is the reason these films are made, so why not? Dinosaurs terrorizing people sounds a lot more interesting than an "Underdog" movie; or another washed up marvel superhero to be made in to an unwatchable exercise of horrible filmmaking. Bring back T-Rex!

And Yet ANOTHER Fantastic Four 2 Poster

Now I'm getting pretty sick of the over-hype on this movie Marvel's generating... Here you go...again. Looks about as hokey as it can be. Click it to enlarge it.

"Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer" comes to theaters June 15, 2007.

Thursday, April 5, 2007

REVIEW - "300" (2007)

Now that I've had plenty of time to think it over after all the hype, I must say "300" is a fantastic movie. It's visual poetry. It's powerful opposition. And frankly it pumps you up. I've read reviews both blasting the movie for its style and praising it for the same thing. One review read something along the lines of it being the greatest film of our generation. Well...not really. But it's good.

"300" opens with the training of the main character, Leonidas, as a young Spartan boy. In his later years as king, he is given a proposition by a messenger from Xerxes to join the Persian Empire. The proposition is delivered friendly, but without revealing Xerxes’ true intentions. Leonidas declines with his sword and tries to persuade the elders to go to war. When denied, he takes a handful of soldiers (300) to hold off the Persians as long as they can. The result is one battle after another of blood, pain, hell and, of course, glory.

Though the film has been criticized for its acting, I don't see what's wrong with it. The lines are appropriate for the over-the-top nature of the film, especially for being based directly off a graphic novel. Meanwhile, Gerard Butler is becoming one hell of a character actor. The simple fact he went from The Phantom of the Opera to an aggressive Spartan King is just about as impressive as Johnny Depp's radical characters from movie to movie. Another very, very impressive role was David Wenham as Dilio. He narrated the whole movie with the voice of a classic, 1960s Greek/Roman epic. Seldom was I ever not intrigued by his presence-- Whether it was vocally or visually.

The main reason the film has been hailed is, of course, the effects and style. As odd as it sounds, it's a beautiful looking movie. The costumes are very impressive. All the Spartans wear overly long, crimson cloaks and bad-ass looking helmets. Completing the set is specifically designed swords, spears and abs that make you feel like your on steroids just by looking at them. Meanwhile, the Persians are displayed as disfigured, hideous creatures with wardrobes that look like a rich-man's Galactic Empire uniform from Star Wars. The contrast between who the antagonists and protagonists are is very clear. Meanwhile the surroundings, sky, boulders, blood-- Just about everything is CG rendered to give the entire movie a very surreal look of exaggeration. It works perfectly. The style all flows together to give us something not ever seen before on film. It's an impressively violent, aggressive and eye-appealing style that set the perfect tone for this movie. I have to hand it to director Zack Snyder. He knew how to get the atmosphere of this film down to a perfect tee. It's not an easy task. It might've come off as very cheesy and laughable had anyone else done it.

The story begs for the attention of a few values. One could find the story significant of today's events or our government. The idea of love followed by selflessness is introduced as a powerful virtue even before Dilio narrates the concept. Another is a more personal insight of true brotherhood and trust. Sadly, I'm afraid this movie will be used for many football metaphors in the locker rooms of high school and college football. It's ashame that the meaning of this movie will probably be degraded to something as irrelevant as that instead of going on to parallel something important.

As good as the movie is the hype killed some of it for me. Or perhaps it's the atrocious editing the movie does very little to hide. Maybe the messages could have been less obvious. I don't know. It's not the greatest movie ever nor of our generation, but it's a fun action movie with some good social messages and incredible cinematography. Lives won't be changed, but you might feel the need to pick a battle yourself and hurt someone once it's over.

***1/2 out of ****

"Spider-Man 4" Seeming More and More Possible

Though both actors have previously stated they did not want to do a fourth film, Dunst recently had a major change of heart saying, "I would work with Sam on any movie he wanted to work on it with me, because I just adore that man. Now Tobey Maguire has gone on record saying he may be up for it as well-- Totally differing form his choice of hanging up the Spidey suit for good:

"It's possible that we make another movie," said Maguire. "It all depends on if there's a story worth telling. I feel very proud of the three movies that we've made. I feel like the stories all deserve to be told, and, you know, if they come up with a good movie, and the whole team wants to get back together, and we feel like we can make a good movie that's worth making, then I'm up for it."

Is Spidey 4 on the horizon? I wouldn't mind. I'm sick of trilogies.

George Lucas on Indy 4

Lucas spoke on the new Indiana Jones movie recently.

"He's not running in any of the movies. He's either on a horse or driving a car or a motorcycle. And he'll play his age in this movie with what's appropriate. The chases are more suspenseful than speedy. Like the rolling ball in the first film — it's not that he's running that fast, it's that there's a giant ball coming at him. And he will get beat up, which is a tradition for us."

On getting Sean Connery to return as Indy's dad, Lucas responded, "We're still trying." And when asked about the casting of Cate Blanchett as the film's leading lady, "That's who my director wanted, and I always bow to the wishes of my director," Lucas said of Spielberg. "I approved it because she seemed like a good idea. When I met her at the Academy Awards, I told her, 'Hey, you work for me now!'"

Well that was more relevent information than I thought it would be. "Hey, you work for me now"? Please. She responds to Spielberg and Spielberg alone. Go command your Hasbro Star Wars toys Lucas. Lucas also has said he wants to keep the title of the new movie a secret until the trailer hits theaters this Thanksgiving.

Indiana Jones 4 hits theaters next year.

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

TRAILER - "Live Free or Die Hard"

Yippee-ki-yay mutha f-- Eh. Watch the trailer. It looks fun.

Monday, April 2, 2007

"The Simpson's Movie" Promotional Pics

First promo pics for "The Simpson's Movie" Enjoy. I'm hope it's as funny as it...well...SHOULD be.

"28 Weeks Later..." Pics.

First pics of the (worthless) sequel to "28 Days Later".

Yet More "Fantastic Four 2" Pictures.

More FF2 pics have surfaced, though I could've sworn that shot of the Silver Surfer's head has already been released. Oh well, click'em to enlarge. They're nothing "Fantastic".

"Die Hard 4" Photos!

It's pretty much picture day on my blog here. Up next is some shots from "Live Free and Die Hard". Click them to enlarge.

Can't wait for another Bruce Willis, action heavy movie like this. He's too good. In theaters June 29!

A Few New Transformers Pics.

Three new Transformers pics have surfaced with the Autobots and Decepticons in action...finally. Click the images to enlarge them.

Optimus dukes it out with Bonecrusher.

Bonecrusher charges the interstate.

Barricade attackes.

The two bottom ones I've seen before in trailers and...meh... The Optimus one is ok though.