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Monday, August 31, 2009

Three Bad Ideas, Three Bad Sequels

While the title to this post may seem rather condemning I have reason to believe I'm not jumping the gun. Hollywood's shrewd hard-on for milking franchises has reached new heights in the last few years, so it's no surprise these announcements feel like the coming of a new paycheck. Lets plow through this from bad to worse:

Bad Idea #3 - Bad Boys 3

This is probably the least of my concern. I never cared for the first two and don't think there's really anything to ruin. Columbia Pictures has hired Peter Craig to write a screenplay in the hope Will Smith, Martin Lawrence and director Michael Bay will return to the franchise.

The hurdle? Money. Will Smith and Michael Bay are two very, very expensive players in the superstar world right now. Furthermore, Michael Bay is lost in Transformer-land and wants to do another movie before Transformers 3. My guess is Bay won't be returning, but my hope is that this will fall through altogether.

Bad Idea #2 - Halloween 3D

After Rob Zombie molested what's barely remaining of the Halloween franchise with his psuedo-psychological take on the killer, Dimension decided they would like to squeeze another "golden egg" out of the shriveled up prune of a goose. I've stated my displeasure behind the current 3D fad before and this movie sounds like another way to cannibalize both the franchise and film-going as a whole. Raise your hand if you really, really want to pay $10+ to see Mike Myers slash up people in 3D. Is it really worth it?

The good news is Rob Zombie will not be returning. The bad news is... Well, damn, I just announced the bad news.

Bad Idea #1 - Rambo 5

Once upon a time, I thought the Rambo franchise was pretty good. Sure the third movie was terrible, but the first two were fun and exciting. They were adventurous and I believed Rambo really was the haunted and battle worn character he was portrayed to be. But with Stallone's fourth film I've lost hope in a full return to form. Rambo wasn't so much a character as he was an excuse for violent exploitation. The fact another movie is greenlit based on the fourth film is terrifying to me. Was it not Stallone who stated the latest, and arguably worst, of the Rambo films would be the Final Blood?

Regardless, a fifth Rambo is happening. In the next flick, our favorite steroid toting actor will take on drug traffickers on the United States/Mexican border. Production starts next Spring. Can good ole' Sly return the Rambo we all loved? I doubt it. I really want to think it's possible, but I doubt it.

Dollar signs have never been as clear as they are today.


David said...

i didn't see anything about indiana jones 5...

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